he loves me for something , i WAS love him for everything

im here just want to express my anger , i feel lonely & hopeless since i left my feyonce , he doesn,t respect me ,he always make fun of me , always saying wear that & don,t wear this dress is to tight ,i hate him when he say you are mine,becouse he say it in way (make me afraid), is love means being a fraid from the person you love , i hate his smile when im angry , becouse i thought he tell me that he care about me but when i saw him laughing at me makes me feel like im alone ,i hate him when he yell at me , is yell & screaming show respect , i want to tell him that his roses & his jewellery can,t make me blind & smile again to his face .i can,t take him any more . Love don't mean changing who you are to be , but to be honesty i wish i wish i wake up someday and hear my mom tell me that he is in our house and want to apologia .. but i know it,s not gonna hapening.. ,, i wish he knew how can he treat a female like me ..