love is the worst way to die. it takes your life in so many ways it can destroy your heart, your soul. it can destroy your relationships with a special someone or a really important person that you want to be that special someone. it can destroy you so much to the point that you're just a hollow shell like i am now. i just ruined my life with one text. i cant believe that i did it. i not to long ago told my best friend that iv known for forever n the guy that i love more than anything or anyone iv ever met that i would stop talkin to him to make him happy. iv now been cryin for the past 6 hours because first he didnt want to talk to me he was ignorin me so then i sent him that text n he still wont answer me or even say anythin about the text that i sent him n it tearin me up already i just want to literally rip my heart out so that it can match the pain of figuratively rippin it out by sendin that text now i have to go to school tomorrow and see him n its gonna kill me i dont wanna go but i have to i wanna shoot myself cause there's now way in hell that i can possibly go the entire day without saying something to him. i wish that i hadn't sent that text. i wish that i could be goodenough for him . . . . . . good enough for him to go out with me or even like me a fraction of what i feel for him. i wish that i wasnt so annoying to him or the almost every word out of my mouth didnt make him mad. i wish that i could understand his pain anf=d every thing that he's going throught even wen he doesnt tell me. i wish that i wasnt such a screw up like my failure of a father. i wish that i didnt act so much like him n screw up every good thing that iv evr had i hate him for it i really do i wish that i could just disappear right off the map. i hate it . . . . . . living the way that i do i wish that i could find a real friend and not annoy them the same way i do this guy i mean i dont mean to but i end up doin it anyway even wen i dont try to iv found the one and only person that made me feel like someone like i was needed or even wanted and then i annoy him without even tryin n i make him mad with every word that comes out of my mouth i wish i could stop doin that