ericyr's Blog
No Rock Bottom
December 2, 2008No time to take care of my own emtional needs...to busy taking care of everyone elses. I want to lock myself in a room and write...continue writing endlessly until i have everything out of me. Too tired to go on...too many pressures that surround me eac
Sometimes you just get that feeling of just giving up and letting go. To tired and stressed to go on and too discouraged to try again. Now i'm not talking suicide and life here. I'm talking about regular school activities and getting through each and every day trying to accomplish what;s been set on your head from the day you entered a school door. Each year is harder and each day is more and more discouraging. I no longer have the energy and the will to do well in my studies and I just have that no care attitude thats dragging me down. I want to do well but i'm too tired to work hard for it. I'm ready for the real life of working and actually accomplishing something that i'm striving for. I'm tired of being bashed down each time i struggle to pick myself up. A person can only fight so much before they just stay down and don't bother. I'm tired of being pushed like a dog by teachers and parents. I want my own life i can control and my own responsibilities. I'm tired of being treated like a child that needs her hand held each time i cross the road (this is an exageration mind you). I'm just plain tired to put it simply. I go to sleep at night and never want to get up. I'ts just s feeling of hopelessness. To tell you the truth, if i could have me way, i'de want to shut myself up in a room and just write. Just write until I have every frustration and sense of lonleyness and sorrow out of me. Maybe then would i consider reentering the real world. By then maybe i'll have a good solid handle of what I want to do and a better sense of self-esteem. Something i could go on for the rest of my life. Right now it's to hard to handle much more. I have no time to myself. No time to take care of my own personal needs, my own emotional needs. I'm too busy taking care of everyone elses and yet it drains me just the same.
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