Just a couple of things on my mind I thought I'd share...

I have a tired heart and a tired mind and while I look at the world through tired eyes, I begin to realize that the past 3 years of my life were made by others and not myself, and you begin to think about what all I have missed in such a short time and how many opportunities have passed me by with you being able to go for them. At the time, I did it for all the right reasons, but now, I am exhausted and want to live real again, feel real, feel existing, I am just afraid it's been so long that I have forgotten what it was like, and now am scared to take chances which could greatly benefit me emotionally and socially, such as falling in love., though I crave it so badly. The whole time I am thinking these thoughts, I ask myself if maybe I am just crazy, or I am just not with it right now because I am still sobering up from the night before because I wanted to numb the pain. I believe I am ready to take on chances first hand now though, I believe I am ready to once more be human again and not be a slave to country I love and fight for currently. I have faith that things will go uphill from here once I am a civilian again.