. . . . that it has come to this.

I'm not on here much at all. This is my second year here and, after October, it will probably be my last. I upgraded my membership to Ultimate status, but the price tag on that is not worth the wait of the package. It's way overpriced. The regular Loyal membership is within a normal price range, but not the Ultimate.

Unfortunately, I cannot post here how I really feel because there is no freedom on this site. I paid to be part of some kind of Dictatorship. Yes, I know that Criss has his "rules", but if he cannot take constructive criticism from his most beloved Loyals, then he should get the hell out of the entertainment industry. You're always going to have your critics and at least from your biggest supporters, it's from a genuine heart space of love.

There's a few of you I was interested in getting to know better, and if you don't keep in touch with me on Myspace or have my email, then I will be leaving you a message on your page. If I don't hear back from you, then I will assume you either, aren't on here much, or you don't care about keeping contact with me. There's plenty of time to hit me back with a response - I'm committed here until October of 2009.

The page I made here was one that was truly a labor of love. I wanted to show Criss in the manner that I saw him. However, I don't know if I know who he is anymore. He obviously doesn't give a damn about this club or this site. I know many have met him and had good experiences with him. I do still believe there's a really good soul inside him, but I've just been seeing and hearing too many negative things. He seems really lost in his fame, and its killing the real him. He's warping into a shell of who he used to be. It's not too late for him to turn things around, but he has to see it's a problem and then want to change.

All press isn't good press, and the toys and money aren't what you're going to take with you when you take your last breath. This is a guy who has the most wonderfully loving family on the planet. He's ambitious, strong-willed, intelligent and hard-working. He's worked his whole life to get to the point he's at, but that doesn't mean you morph into someone else and treat others less respectfully.

He's got some of the most loving, supportive fans in the world. I haven't met him yet, but judging by all of your experiences, I believe he is a very fan-friendly person. If he cared about his fans as much as they care about him - if he was as loyal to us and we were to him - then he would throw his weight around and make damn sure that the site and his fan club were positive representations of him. He would make sure folks got what they paid for in a timely manner. He would make sure that people felt comfortable and didn't feel suffocated and afraid to speak up about anything on the boards or in the chats. He's put people in place that made this into some kind of horror to be here. I'm not here much and I stay out of everyone's business. I have enough steaming cow dung on my plate to contend with on the homefront. I came here as an escape and to make friends. I have people I care about that were part of this community being hurt by what is going on. It's childish, it's petty, and it's mean. It even spills out onto other communities, like Myspace. It's ridiculous.

This isn't even Criss' site anyway. He has no clue what is going on. He meets fans through contests and he doesn't even know what they won, and it was through THIS SITE. His brothers have nothing to do with this site. The task is given to people who seem to have their own agendas.

I'm sure its even worse than what I'm seeing. If Criss wants to keep losing members and keep losing fans - keep on keeping on - that's my advise.

I'll be in touch soon.

Diane