Please, just humor me and read this....

From the post below this one, everyone can see that on 10-30-2008 my every dream, hope, wish, and prayer came true. For the last 3 years, I have wanted nothing more out of life than to meet Criss. You have to understand that this man, has saved my life. He has brought love, joy, passion, inspiration, hope, belief, and so much more back into my world. Let me tell you a story...

The Date was 10-19-2008. For a reason that I cant remember, while I was home alone for the day, I took 20mg of Ativan. For those of you that dont know that medication, its like xanax, its used to calm the symptoms of a panic attack. 20mg of it is enough to kill even someone of my size. My parents had decided to come home early that day because my mother was not feeling well. They came home to find me unable to speak coherently, falling over onto the floor, and unable to keep my eyes open. Ive been told that I was rushed immediately to the Emergency Room. I remember being hooked up to oxygen, an IV, and a catheter. There wasnt much the doctors could have done. They gave me a shot to remove the opiates from my system (because for the month before I had been on a Vicodin binge taking up to 10 a day) and there was another shot they could have given me to remove the Ativan from my system, but it had SERIOUS side effects. Thankfully I was able to sleep most of it off, but I suffered memory loss.

I woke up 2 days later in a Mental Hospital on a 3 day hold. I had NO idea where I was, what had happened, or even what city I was in. Can you imagine how scary that was? Once I had found out, I couldnt keep my tears to myself.

I do NOT want sympathy. I dont feel sorry for myself, and no one else should either. I just want to get ONE thing straight.

Criss Angel AND Chris Sarantakos has been the BIGGEST blessing in my life. I truly believe that it was because of the strength that he had instilled in me that I am alive today.

Being a Loyal to Criss is my favorite part of my life. I have stood by him, accepted him, supported him, and LOVED him NO MATTER WHAT. Beard, no beard. Black, blonde, brown hair. Long, straight. Hairy, waxed. Makeup, natural. Through the mistakes, through the bad times and the good. I dont care who this man dates. I dont care what he looks like. I dont care if he parties all night long or if he has a quiet night in his suite. To me, he is a MAN. No more, No less. He will make mistakes, he will seriously F*** up. He will drink too much, buy expensive toys, he will date beautiful women that may not always have the best intentions. But when it comes down to it at the end of the day, ITS HIS LIFE.

Criss doesnt tell us what to wear, what to think, how to feel, who to date, what to say, or how to feel. Why should we do that to him? In my eyes, if you cant accept him for who he is, or what he does, then you need to be respectful and leave.

When I got to meet him on the 30th, I walked up behind him, touched his shoulder and when he turned around I told him "Criss, you cant listen to the negativity. Your show is amazing and anyone who cant see that isnt worth your time." And the smile on his face said it all.

Think about it this way. If you had put the last few YEARS into something that represented your heart, your art, and your passion and someone who you thought would support you came up and told you it was bad or even worse, wouldnt you feel heartbroken? Well what makes anyone think he's any different? Do you see how tired this man looks ALL the time? All anyone sees is "He looks so bad!" What ever happened to Im worried about him, he looks like he needs some time off?

I dont know about anyone else on here, but right now, I just want to give him a hug. I want to tell him that Im worried about him. I want to tell him not to listen to what people have to say and to follow his heart. I want him to know that he still has people out there who love and support him for WHO HE IS. Not what everyone else seems to THINK he is.

Im going to leave this loooooong post with this.

Buying a 100$ membership doesnt make you an Ultimate Loyal. YOU make yourself an Ultimate Loyal.