i knew it was to good to be true

His name is Nick Litchfield, i love him...he used to love me. He made me so happy, he asked me to marry him. I said yes. He always said this is to good to be true...i knew that to. But why is it that when your having the best dream ever you have to wake up? Ive known him since i was pretty much born, never thought id see him again...10 years later he added me on myspace we talked alot he thought i was cute i started to see a difference in myself from the begining i smiled yes hard to believe but i did....alot....i even found myself laughing i explained to him how ive been hurt many times he had too he went to ask me out and then said fuck asking you out will you marry me? i laughed and said yes...only to find out we wereboth very serious one night my dorky drunk fiance was on the phone with me its 11:11 make a wish baby we both wished for the same thing me...him...together forever he was in his car at the moment amazed by lonestar came on the radio it was perfect that was our song i loved him he opened up to me i opened up to him i let myself go for him and he did the same i felt nothing could ruin what we had... his cousin had died, he was so upset, i tried to console him...tried to make him happy, apparently it worked for a while he went to the funeral, we didnt talk that weekend i was at my friend caitlins house when i got a bad bad feeling when i got home he called...we talked he needed a break i knew it was to good to be true he said it would only be for a few days i pushed him i ruined what we had he got annoyed i guess he said he didnt want to be with me i was pushing him to much i lost it i tried to just tell him that i loved him didnt work begged didnt work i said all i could say "nick just think about what your throwing away, think about what we could have. thats all i can ask, i love you for than anything and ill wait as long as i need to" "ill wait forever, im not going to move on...i promised you i wouldnt" you see? i ruin everything im a disease everything i touch turns to ashes i slit my shoulder wide open with a razor blade bled quite a bit and realized i didnt feel it what the fuck tried again nothing ...ok? im dead inside what do i do now well i went out on the deck...i needed to be alone oh not not possible my brother and father came out to the deck "get the fuck inside"father "fuck you"me my father went inside oh some one please help me now my brothers cat got out i should have went inside then "help me get the cat inside shes going to die!!!"brother mind you this is an outdoor cat my brother got the cat and told me to hold it as he hoped over the fence onto the deck...i held the cat then i decided to be a jackass and let the cat go my brother freaked out and tried to through a chair at me i moved he picked up a kooler was going to throw it at me didnt kno it was full of water dumped it over him own head started crying as funny as that is i couldnt laugh lost it then breaking everything i came across tears streaming down my face i couldnt do this anymore I love you Nick you are and always will me my everything but i trusted you and you hurt me so listen people by the end of the night ill have either:

1 kill myself

2 kill someone

3runaway

so either way goodbye to you all incase i dont come on again People that im greatful for redfox though ive tortured you with annoiance you have taught me all i know jess thank you for being a friend and a close person to me and thanks to the rest of my loyal family